Tuesday, July 22, 2008

One day soon every book in the world will look like the Da Vinci Code

Want to sell shit-loads of your piss-poor thriller about monks, the Bible and like, other stuff that's a bit scary? Just follow this formula:



i) Get picture of a doorway or arches, preferably from a church or temple
ii) Smother in fuzzy light
iii) Draw in a silhouette of bloke running about in front of said arch/doorway
iv) Add quote about mysteries/secrets/codes on the front
v) Count money








1 comment:

  1. Anonymous3:30 pm

    One day soon every chick lit book in the world will look like the Belle du Jour

    Want to sell shit-loads of your veiled entirely fabricated memoir about blowing hoover execs in the Waterloo Ramada? Just follow this formula:


    i) Visualise a slutty yet bourgeois image of young womanhood (something like Goldfrapp’s backing dancers)
    ii) Settle on an acceptable level of nudity.
    iii) Render your subject in oils or watercolours, in the manner of a Vogue illustrator from the 1920s.
    iv) Stick something in the title about them being a tart and this being a diary
    v) Count money

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