Friday, February 24, 2012

Nice shirts, New Balance, roll-ups and ugly hiking boots – fashion in 2012 so far

So, February’s nearly over, the winter coats are coming off – then going back on again – and London Fashion Week has taken place which, as ever, has zero relevancy to any male with a half a brain and an interest in style. Change in the men’s sector is as glacial as ever, but there are some interesting trends about – interesting if you’re the sort of phoney who actually eeks out a living writing about this nonsense (ie, me). So, without further ado – here’s what happening, kids…

Heritage goes townie
Over the past few years, the Albam/Oi Polloi style has been the dominant look for anyone who knows their clobber, but it’s only in the last 12 months that it’s been embraced by the sort of people who a couple years back sported extravagant mullets, violently distressed bootcut jeans and white, yes, white, belts. Now, with labels like Lyle & Scott* and Farah Vintage** completely reinventing themselves, there’s a whole slew of brands for this, ahem… demographic.

However, the yout’ to shake up this ultimately conservative style a little with chunky trainers, white socks and roll-ups. It’s like looking like looking at a street-style story in The Face from 1992 – except without the references to Massive Attack or progressive house. Young people, eh?

* Now a label for post-pubescent youths rather than say, Kenny Lynch
** Farah Vintage! Ha! The only thing they did in the ’80s that was any good were kecks. A real Farah Vintage would have Ronnie Corbett sports jackets, bad machine-knit jumpers and mad, shiny grey leather slip-ons. 

New Balance everywhere
The first New Balance revival came in the ’90s and they’ve pretty much become the trainer of the   moment, replacing Adidas, who continue to shoot themselves in the foot with their terrible reissues.

Why? Well NB’s old school line is made with the same care as their (admittedly functional but ugly) contemporary sports range. And importantly, they don’t cover their classics in faux snakeskin or stupid multicoloured wings. Take note, Adidas Originals and stop ruining the legacy of Herr Dassler.

Hiking boots becoming really ugly
There’s a lot to be said about a Himalayan scally outfit, especially if you reside in the north west of England, but blimey, some of those boots are really horrible-looking. Instead of rounding off a simple Heroes of Telemark outfit, a lot of them resemble a cross between a wearable saddle and the inside of a toaster.

Mod/skinhead brands carrying on regardless
Ultimately, mod and skinhead style never dates, which is why a label like Mikkel Rude never lets you down. Superbly crafted shirts (see top of the article), authentic-looking Air-Ware boots and gorgeous lambswool cardigans that quietly whisper quality. Never has agression looked so refined.

Chinos/jeans with elasticated bottoms
And worn with espadrilles. Jesus.

Sunday, February 05, 2012

American Psycho: Dorsia – the menu

If, like a worryingly large proportion of the western world’s male population, you know a little too much about American Psycho (both in its book and film incarnations), then you’ll be aware how doofus/maniac Patrick Bateman is obsessed about getting a table at Dorsia, Manhattan’s restaurant of the moment.

For Bateman, the fact that rival/workmate Paul Allen (above, played by Jared Leto in the film) can get a table there whereas he cannot, is, along with Allen’s superior apartment overlooking Central Park, his main motive for murdering him.

But what is so magical about this place? The answer is the food, which for the first time has been revealed thanks to the discovery of a rare Dorsia menu. Its details are below.

Dorsia, 49 West 54th St, New York, New York
Lunch menu, April 25, 1988

Hors d’oeuvre
Idea of mushroom foam
Essence of mussels in sex 
Chilled air “toast” 
Paté of minced mince
Chicken livers – served with Van Gogh’s Sunflowers

Main courses
Oxtail and information minestrone 
Roasted leg of lamb “a la soil” 
Steak “John Belushi”
Rumination on something that was once risotto a la Milanese
Pasta “Business Lounge, LAX”

Popsicle Gérard Depardieu “on the telephone”
Memory of vanilla ice cream from Provincetown, MA, 1954
Black Forest gateau (includes business class return to actual Black Forest, and dinner at Das Pensione Cher, Baden-Baden, Germany, Europe)